Pieces of Heaven

Before I begin my new post, I just would like to thank some of the great minds of Blogspot who have visited this blog site and who left some really encouraging comments. Word up!

My post for today is about great friends. A lot has been written about this topic — songs, stories, books, movies, and there was even a long - running, top - rated sitcom about ‘friends’ (who, along the course of their friendships, find themselves sleeping with each other. Oh! But that’s another story). I have lotsa’ casual friends and a handful of really close ones but I believe that I’ve got some of the best and for this I feel really blessed. I honestly believe that one of the most enduring relationships of all is friendship. Most of us have become so busy with the pursuit of romantic relationships that we tend to undermine the value of good friendship. As is true in my case, boyfriends come and go but my friends remain.

What are they for anyway, these friends of ours? Are they just people to hang out with when we have nothing better to do? Are they just people we borrow money from when we’re broke? Are they just sounding boards for yet another heartbreak rant? Are they just stand-in dates when we can’t find a real one on Valentine’s Day? Are they just drinking buddies to spend our Friday nights with? Are they just ‘Fubus’? Yes they are all these and more. For me, good friends represent everything that is good, pure, sincere, loyal, honest, fun, and lasting. They are my little pieces of heaven here on earth.

This Ad is So Funny, My P***Y is Laughing

Haven't tried tampons yet, but after watching this ad, I just might...

Zombie

I haven't been sleeping enough for the last few days (or weeks even) for various reasons. I've been given a lot of "unmerciful" deadlines and I've been sleeping late on my own accord co'z late nights are kinda my "me time". Those are the only times I can do stuff for myself like read or watch TV or surf the net (excessively, that is). And my sleep starved mind has been operating on "auto pilot" ever since, which is not good. Today, my body sort of refused to take any more abuse from me. It slept until 10 a.m. instead of waking up at 6:00 a.m. without any regard for the alarm clock. Ok so I overslept. I don't oversleep! I don't! This is weird! (Cue the "Twilight Zone" theme, tini-ni-niin, tini-ni-niin, tini-ni-niin...) This can't be happening, I have a schedule to follow and straying away from "the schedule" will cause a glitch in the time - space continuum and will affect the balance in the universe and will cause this big implosion of about 300,000 kilometers below sea level... Ok, ok, so I'm exaggerating. I woke up and saw that it was already 10:00 a.m. Needless to say, I'm soooo late for work. So I shot out of bed and headed straight for the shower and on my mad dash to the shower, I tripped onto something and I almost fell. Damn! (Newsflash: taking a shower while still half asleep is not a good idea). Plus I got some shampoo in my eye while showering which really stings. I just have this feeling that this is not gonna be a good day.

Stand Back! I May Have to Up My Hotness to Level 10

I have to write the mayor's Inaugural Speech and the deadline for the submission of the first draft is 5:00 p.m. tomorrow. The assignment was given to me this morning. JUST GREAT! This means another sleepless night for me. I have to arm myself so I went to a convenience store to get some supplies. You know, the usual "burning the midnight oil" staples -- Red Bulls, endless supply of java, chocolates, nuts, anything that would keep me awake. And then HE came. Alighting from a car was this yummy specimen of a guy -- chiseled features, cute eyes, around 5'11", lean, nice tan, broad shoulders, great smile (he smiled at the cashier), even greater looking legs (I can see through jeans, it's a special power of mine that I developed during college. lol). Needless to say, I had to summon just the right amount of control to keep my jaw from dropping to the floor. You see, I love the sight of a great - looking guy the same way guys love the sight of a sexy girl in a miniskirt, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm a Libran after all so I'm a lover of beauty. Yeah ok so I'm rationalizing. Anyways, all thoughts about the mayor's speech flew out of the window (the store had no window, so ok maybe through the door, whatever!) and I focused all my concentration on a single thing -- how to strike up a conversation with the superfly guy. As of that moment, I was a woman with a mission and I had to come up with a plan fast. Let's see, hmmm, he has the built of a guy who goes to the gym regularly so maybe that'll be a good topic. And he has a nice tan so maybe he likes the outdoors. But wait! He just dropped a gazillion bags of chips in his shopping basket so maybe he's not much of a health buff after all. Ok so maybe he's a couch potato or he loves watching movies, that'll be a good opening as well. Hold it! He just snatched a copy of Asiaweek from the magazine rack, so maybe he's a well - informed guy who reads and that brings his hotness rating to a critical level (read: super high) based on my "hunk thermometer". I have to plan this veeerrryyy carefully. What to say? What to say? Where's my creativity when I need it the most? What is the best approach? Should I take the "smart girl" route? Nah! It might intimidate him. Or will it be the "a bit goofy, clumsy and helpless" route? Or is it the "hottie route"? Yes! That's it. So stand back people! I may have to up my hotness to Level 10. Kaboom! And I did. But then, the guy was already gone.

NOTE TO SELF: Jovi, next time, don't think too much. Just get the guy!

Needless to say, I went home without the guy's number and with a speech to write. Drat!

A Pro Con

A couple of months back just before the May 14 national and local elections in the Philippines, a girl of about 16 - 18 years old, who claimed to be a resident of our city (Tarlac City), came to our office to ask for financial assistance from our City Mayor (my boss) to help her get text votes so she can win a popular singing contest that she was joining at the time. The contest was one of those "American Idol" rip offs being aired by one of the major networks here in the Philippines which I'd rather not name for purposes of anonymity (GMA Channel 7's Pinoy Pop Superstar. Ha! Sorry, couldn't help it). Anyway, seeing nothing unusual about that as it is quite typical here in the Philippines to directly ask politicians for money for whatever reason, I made her write a formal letter to the mayor. She did and she submitted the letter to us. The Mayor wasn't able to give her the money right away since there was an election ban going and electoral candidates were prohibited from handing out money to the people. The kid came back several times pleading that she be given the financial assistance that she needed but we kept explaining to her that she'll have to wait until after the elections. Right after the polls, she came back with the news that she had already won the contest. None of us in the office watched the show so we haven't the faintest idea if she really won. Lucky for her, the mayor (who also didn't watch the show) was at the office that time she visited so I told her to talk to the mayor directly and to tell him the "good news". She did. She introduced herself to the mayor saying that she was Maricris Garcia and that she was the grand champion of Pinoy Pop Superstar, etc. etc. And the mayor, quite glad that someone from his city won such a popular contest, congratulated her and handed her P5,000.00 from his own pocket. So that was the end of it. Or so we thought. Then yesterday, the kid came back to our office inviting the mayor to some event and was kinda sweet talking him about a certain project (probably so he'll give her more "assistance", I'm not sure). When it comes to the mayor's schedules and appointments, it was customary for us to validate if the event he was being invited to is really gonna take place and if so, we need to get the details. So we did. It turned out that there was no such event and people from GMA 7 as well as Maricris' handlers were quite surprised when we told them that she was here in Tarlac City because as far as they know, she was supposed to be in Bulacan at that time. And she was indeed in Bulacan. The real Maricris Garcia, that is. The one the mayor was talking to turned out to be a con who resembles the real one quite closely. A sixteen - year - old professional con artist, who, prior to our mayor, had also "victimized" three or four other mayors. So the police was called in, an investigation was made, and the girl, being a minor, was held in some juvenile facility.

Actually, the situation I cited above isn't out of the ordinary. We encounter cons everyday. What really bugs me is how a sixteen-year-old girl can lie through her teeth without even flinching, and worse, lie straight to the mayors face. Me, I can't pull off something like that. I'd be blinking all over the place and wouldn't even be able to look anyone straight in the eye. Yeah I guess I'm a bad liar and I'd make a bad con. Anyways, it really "amazes" me what kids are capable of doing these days. They can get hold of high powered guns and shoot their classmates just for kicks, they can get hold of heroine and coke and do one or the other anytime they please (read: Lindsay Lohan), and they can come up with elaborate and risky con jobs like this one. Maybe we should watch our kids more closely co'z this is no longer just a case of playing pretend.

Comings and Goings

I am a person who hates to throw things away. I can't seem to part with stuff, even things that are all worn out and useless. And this is currently driving my mom crazy as we are on the verge of losing precious storage space in our house. For me, there is comfort in knowing that these things are just here within my reach in case I need them (which is highly unlikely). I'm the same way with people. I hate losing them and it is very difficult for me to let go. Don't get me wrong, I don't force people to stay if they don't want to and I can accept the circumstances that has led me to lose someone. It's just that the healing takes too long for me. Maybe longer than what can be considered normal. On the outside, it appears that I've already moved on but inside, the emptiness remains. A friend of mine once told me, "Jovi, you'll have to get used to it, people come and go", and he knew what he was talking about for he himself had lost his parents and brother to an accident.

But then I've come to realize that the emptiness will remain forever because when a loved one leaves, the vacant space he/she has left in my heart can never be filled again. Yes my heart will keep on beating and it'll make room for others to come in but the vacant spaces will remain. I admire people who can let go so easily. I wish they'd tell me how.

Lost in Translation

Have you noticed how everything seems to be made in China these days? A close second are those made in Japan. And have you noticed the product info / instructions that are written on the labels that were haphazardly translated in English? My brothers and I get a kick out of reading these Chinese or Japanese product labels. I don't mean to make fun of them, but they are funny and they always make my day. And here's all the more reason why we should purchase their products. Here are some of them:

From a Chinese Herbal Diet Tea:
Nguan Heng Chan Special Herbing Tea
Suitable for all ages to reduce weight with efficiency and safe.
Suitable for all diet person who can't reduce weight by any method, have no any exercises and can't control eating.
This tea is really best for the person with fatty belly there is no laxative affect.

From a Japanese breakfast pastry package:
Through years of experience, Doutor Danish is produced from the finest materials to create a happy time on tables.

On a pack of Japanese rice tea cakes:
Burning politely, one by one,these cakes send deliciousness to you.

On a Japanese bread wrapper:
Take me home, let’s make happy in your basket!

On a bottle of Chinese medicine:
Known to cure itching, colds, stomachs, brains, and other diseases.

On the box of a toothbrush from a Tokyo hotel:
Gives you strong mouth and refreshing wind!

On a package of a Chinese dry tea biscuits:
A drink’s too wet without one.

And here's a fave of mine courtesy of Mr. Jim Paredes. It's from the label of a Chinese pantyliner brand called Anion:

Functions:
1. Inside the cunt, anion can promote the exchange of biological enzyme
2. In sanitary napkin, the anion chip can instantly absorb blood

Apparently, the Chinese-to-English translator must have learned his English lessons by watching porno.

Here's more:
...it comes with "lady vagina inflammation self-test paper". Whut???

And here's a photo of a brand of bottled water from Japan:

Diet Water?! I didn't know water was fattening! Now, that's one more thing to worry about...

Anyway, whenever you go grocery shopping, make it a habit to read the product labels first, just for laughs.

Purchasing Power

Prices are so high these days that it is a wonder we can still afford anything. Take gasoline prices for instance.

Sense and Sensibility

No, this is not about the Jane Austen classic novel. This is about my own failings. My occassional lack of proper SENSE and SENSIBILITY. In short, I can be insensitive, sometimes deliberately so and I know that being "deliberately" insensitive is already being MEAN. This insensitivity is borne out of an innate selfishness and sometimes deliberate disregard for other people's feelings and situations. I have hurt a number of people by my insensitivity, even some who are close and important to me. This is not an attempt to justify my failings. I don't think those can be justified. This is just my own form of apology to the many people I have hurt or angered through my insensitivity. Some might forgive me, others might not. I don't really ask to be forgiven for that is something you cannot simply ask for. Forgiveness is entirely up to the offended party. I wrote this apology to let these people know that I feel bad that I have offended, angered and/or hurt them. That I feel a certain sense of loss. That I know I cannot take back the things that I've said but I take full responsibility for them. That I accept and understand their anger. That if alienation from them is the price I have to pay for what I have done, then I humbly, albeit sadly, accept it. I don't ask to be forgiven. All I can do is hope.

Photo Magic (The World in the Eyes of Kuya Rey)

Meet my cousin, Reynaldo Reyes, magician (he's a good one. I think he even went to "magic" school), shutterbug, one of my dad's fave nephews (they're barkadas and frat brods I think), and a super duper nice guy. He emailed me some of the photos he had taken during his travels and I was so blown away by them that I just had to share them with you guys. I can't post the photos in all their full sized glory so I'll just show you the thumbnails. If you wish to view them full sized, you may check out this site (believe me, they're worth the visit):

http://www.betterphoto.com/gallery/gallery.asp?mem=191263

Below are some of my faves among Kuya Rey's work but I think the best person to introduce these magnificent photos is my cousin himself. So here goes...

Two of the greatest fascinations in my life have been magic and photography. Magic portrays reality in a way that makes the viewer wonder whether it was real in the first place. Photography on the other hand, allows one to show what has been captured by the camera as faithful as possible to reality. The images you see on these pages are the results of the many visits to different places in the USA and Canada. If the images can give you a sense of being there… that would be magical indeed. What a blessing! Enjoy! - Reynaldo Reyes

English Spokening

My cousin, Kuya Rudi, briefly mentioned in his column in one of our local newspapers something about reading a sign written on the wall of one the elementary schools here in Tarlac City. The sign actually says, "This is an English Speaking School". Okaaayyy.... So? Is that reflective of the quality of education in that school, or in our country's public schools for that matter? Is the use of the English language as a medium of instruction in our schools an indication that our educational system is working and is going in the right direction? Well, maybe we should ask the President who, on May 2003, issued an Executive Order “Establishing the Policy to Strengthen English as a Second Language in the Educational System”. The salient points of the EO are the following:

* English should be taught as a second language at all levels of the educational system, starting with the First Grade;
* English should be used as the medium of instruction for English, Math and Science from at least the third Grade level;
* The English language shall be used as a primary medium of instruction in all public institutions of learning at the secondary level.”

Okay, so learning to speak English well is a big deal in our society that even our leaders are promoting its use while our own Tagalog/Filipino is only given that much importance during the observance of the "Linggo ng Wika". I think it's the "Buwan ng Wika" now. They've added three more weeks just to show that we are not entirely disregarding our own National Language. We may be ashamed to admit it but to most of us Filipinos, being able to speak (and write) good English is a gauge of one's educational background and position in the social stratum. One who speaks English well is "sosi". I myself am a product of our country's preference of the usage of the English language as against the use of Tagalog/Filipino. I was sent to schools that charged a student P1.00 for every word spoken in Tagalog or in any local dialect. During recitations, we were encouraged (but I think forced was more like it) to speak in straight English. Except during Filipino class, of course and that was the only time we were allowed to speak in Tagalog while in school. College was a different matter as I went to a university that encourages one to express himself in whatever language and manner he pleases but still, during that time, I find myself speaking more English in class. I didn't even have a Filipino subject in college. In school, I wasn't taught to love my own language. I wasn't encouraged to use my own language. As a result, I can express myself better in English. I even "think" in English. Not that I'm complaining, I've made good use of my knowledge of the English language and I've found it useful on numerous occasions. It opened a lot of doors for me. But I just wish I was taught to love my own language more, to take pride in its use and to use it more often.

How Sharp is Your GAYDAR?

David France (who happens to be gay) recently wrote an article for the New York Magazine entitled, "The Science of Gaydar", which is mainly about studies conducted which show that there are physical manifestations of homosexuality that let us identify who's gay and who's not. By this, I don't mean the lingo, the way they walk, and the way they dress, nor is it that "test" that we use to subject our male classmates to when we were in grade school to determine whether they have homosexual tendencies (tignan mo nga yung siko mo...).

Anyway, here are some of the characteristics that France talked about in his article. Guys, you may want to check yourselves out. Who knows, you might be gay without you knowing it. Wink! Wink!

Gay men are are more likely to have counterclockwise hair whorl patterns (puyo)










Gay men's fingerprint ridges have an increased density in the thumb and pinkie of the left hand (i.e. narrow ridges)











Gay men are more likely to have ring fingers that are shorter than their index fingers











So guys, have you checked yourselves out? And?????

Gifted

Every parent thinks his kid is gifted. My parents thought I was when I learned to talk and read earlier than what was considered normal. They watch my every move and paid attention to every word I say just so they can have another glimpse of how "gifted" I was. Needless to say, they eventually gave up and accepted the fact that I was an average kid. Maybe brighter than some kids, but still average.

Now here's a real gifted kid. Guitar riffing Funtwo of Seoul, South Korea has become some sort of a teen sensation when he was featured at CNN. Me, I just like the way he "rocked" Pachelbel's masterpiece, Canon. Yeah there were a few missed notes here and there but the kid rocked just the same:

More than Meets the Eye

I bet Hasbro sales are on record high the day Transformers hit the big screen. That's in addition to the increase in demand for vintage Camaros with racing stripes. The movie was great fun with just the right amount of sap and comedy on the side, and of course, with great action sequences. The movie looks mighty good with real - looking CGIs and yeah, with the requisite actors that are easy on the eyes. The robots' movements were realistic and fluid (not that I've ever seen real robots in my life so I'm not so sure how to define "realistic" here). Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg have done a good job with this movie. It sure did justice to the 80's classic cartoon that I so loved. Most of my fave robot characters were on the movie, which really pleased me.

Yeah, the Transformers is a movie about robots but it has more to it than meets the eye. It is also about the courage and strength of humans despite the fact that we're young, physically fragile beings compared to the locals of the planet Cybertron. It's just too bad for Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf) who won't be able to "totally" make out with his girl inside his car. It is alive, you know. Almost humanlike.

P.S.
They should have given Soundwave the all-important role of the robot hacker instead of the insect-like boombox, Frenzy. Well anyhow, I heard Soundwave's gonna be in the sequel.